And I don't mean in the "oops I ate and drank all weekend and now I feel like crap" way - I mean, in the "oops my life as I know it seems to be exploding and now I have to deal with it" way. Which, all things considered is less desirable than the food/booze hangover which always resolves itself in 36 hours MAX.
let's start with the good:
Friday - lovely ladies arrive and we immediately sprint back to the Eastside for a suburban retreat complete with pizza (DELICIOUS) and wine. I call this "the introduction" (which is similar to that sleezey guy, "the situation" but this is better). "The Introduction" means that we basically have an unwind time. No makeup, no getting dressed, no going out, just food and good red wine and crappy television. "The Introduction" is critical for setting up the tone and camaraderie of a girls weekend. Also, this is the all important time when you catch up on drama, upset, intrigue and any juicy details that will need to be joked about/referenced/fixed during the rest of the weekend. Basically "The Introduction" always rocks.
Saturday - Awake, caffeinate, walk suburban roads to DELICIOUS cafe and eat delicious things. well, mostly delicious things. McCloud and I experimented with "Eggs Rodolfo" which aside from sounding a little dirty involved plantains in our scrambled eggs. It was AWFUL. Thank god everything at the aforementioned cafe comes with a full bagel, cream cheese and jam. We did not go hungry.
Big breakfasts warrant "walking them off" so walk we did. Right down the block to our favorite boutiques. We successfully navigated the totally drool inducing show store without any damage, but fell face first at the ever lovely "La Ree" and managed to walk out with jeans, sweaters, vests and other delicious things. Kudos us. Apparently, whenever we aren't eating we're consuming in another manner...
Since the walk home was mostly uphill and we had precious loot in tow, a "ride" seemed prudent so we popped into a brunch spot for some champagne while we waited for our chariot (read: my dad) to show up. Once home it was two more bottles of bubbles, a hot tub overlooking the water and for McCloud and one brave guest a polar bear dip in the lake (thank YOU champagne..). So ended our relaxed suburban retreat, and we headed to the city for a night at the W, food, shots, and dancing.It's important to note that one of the best parts of a girls weekend is the opportunity to "get dressed" as a group. I say "get dressed" because getting dressed is a minor part of it. there's much more dancing, jumping, clothes swapping, drinking (bubbles - POP) and shenanigans than there is actually getting ready to go. I think this instance clocked in at around 3 hours. it was great. Two MORE bottled of bubbles, one makeshift flask of gin, and an emergency nail file later we were (mostly) ready to go, and for the most part everyone was in borrowed clothing (another massive benefit of multiple-girl-dressing-events).
First it was steak and shots at a local grill where we know the bartender all too well (she has an uncanny ability to make a shot out of whatever food or drink you're craving.. its sort of like Willy Wonka, and I know it sounds gross, but its a GREAT talent). We ended up dancing the night away at a local dive and dealing with big drunk dudes all night. Sometimes that's fun, sometimes it not. Also, I almost punched a lesbian. I'm considering it a victory that I did not. About the time the DJ started playing songs from the Grease soundtrack, we took our leave.
Sunday required lots of recovery. Thankfully for us, McCloud had purchased tickets to Dina Martina's Christmas Show. Because if there's anything that cures a hangover, its a drag queen singing carols and lil' smokies in your bloody mary.
I need to pause on this for a moment: LIL SMOKIES + vodka. WHO KNEW. It's terrifying at first, but then delicious and genius. AND ultimately it fulfills the need for a street dog later on!. I can't even count how many birds I just killed with that stone, but I'm sure that it constitutes a small flock.
After our matinee entertainment, attention turned to preparing for YET ANOTHER big dinner out (back to our local foodie hotspot) and another opportunity for a multiple-girls-dressing-event. This time the prep happened back at my condo, and the boy (who is still sick, though mostly better) commented that the place looked like a "Lady Bomb" had gone off. Apparently a "Lady Bomb" means that there are at least three pairs of shoes, 2 skirts, 1 dress, 4 tops and 3 pairs of jeans (or "jaeggings if you're boldly embracing the stretch pants comeback) strewn about my 850sf space for every "lady" who is getting ready.
I'm fairly certain that we all looked stunning, and I wish I took a picture of the damage done in the process but my camera was apparently buried under the aforementioned Lady Bomb.
The next several hours were comprised of delicious cocktails, treats and multiple courses and it looked something like this -
Holy crap we ate a lot, and just as before, it was always delicious. Apparently it's also good that we ate a lot since this was about the point in the weekend when things started to unravel. I'm less concerned with the details as this point, but do know that another went according to plan after oooh, let's say the second course and it resulted in the girls weekend disseminating across a 10 block radius. Oops. oh well, it was good while it lasted?
Flash forward to the cold hard week. Everyone's home safe and sound but unfortunately the good vibes of the weekend haven't lasted. One of us returned to a strained (estranged?) relationship, the other is currently preparing for her spouse to undergo invasive facial surgery, another is currently receiving legal threats from an ex, and i'm bumbling along trying to figure out what the hell I do to help (from afar? close? why is everyone sad!?)
My only recourse is to keep my wine supply stocked, cookies in the cabinet and wrap up some god damn Christmas cheer before something else happens.
Oh Holidays.
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